Addicted
by The Umbrella
Summary: JD's addicted. Too bad he doesn't know. Characters: JD, Cox, Carla
1. Addicted

Title: Addicted

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Warnings: Substance abuse and light language.

A/N: Written for the **impromptu50** community on Livejournal. This is the first fanfic I've written in the Scrubs fandom. Let me know what y'all think. Set somewhere early in season three.

Summary: JD's addicted.

* * *

JD shook two pills out of the bottle, swallowed them with a glass of water, then turned off the bedside lamp. He lay back on his pillow, staring up towards the ceiling as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. He counted the seconds off in his head.

Two hours later he repeated the process. He felt hot as he lay back against the warm pillow. Yanking his shirt roughly over his head, he flipped the pillow over to the other side and lay back, snuggling into the coolness.

Two hours later. Repeat.

* * *

JD walked the halls of Sacred Heart, carefully watching the tiles as they slipped by underneath his feet. He had slept well last night - finally - but he hated that a night of blissful unconsciousness always came back to bite him in the ass the next morning. The commercials lied. They always depicted some Lady waking up, looking fully charged as she stretched her glorious arms above that equally glorious chest and gave the camera an award-winning smile. And something about butterflies.

He sighed. The commercials never showed the side effects. They never showed the Lady staggering into work the next morning looking dazed and confused, or vomiting up five bucks worth of coffee.

Of course, the Lady in the commercials probably didn't take three times the recommended amount every night.

But what could he do? If he wanted to be a good doctor he needed his sleep. And if getting a good night's rest meant chugging six or eight or ten pills then so be it. It was that or spend the night tossing and turning until the alarm went off. Either way he ended with the same results - staring at the tiles as he trudged a path through the hospital.

JD shook his head and straightened up. No, he decided, it wasn't the same. The side effects of a night without sleep were far worse than the residual side effects of taking a couple more pills than what was prescribed on the side of a bottle. In fact -

_Woah._

JD threw out his arms as the hall began to twist and tilt. He braced himself against a wall until the hall stopped shifting underneath his feet. Taking a deep breath, he turned his eyes back down towards the ground and continued on his way.

* * *

JD growled at the ceiling in frustration. He was drowsy, but he wasn't asleep. What the hell? Sitting up he snatched the bottle from his bedside table and dumped the contents out on his blanket, then threw the empty bottle across the room for good measure. He picked one up and examined it in the dim light filtering in through his window. He wondered if these were real pills or if someone had switched them out with something else. They looked real enough.

He popped the pill in question into his mouth. Tasted like a pill. If these were fakes, they were pretty convincing. Picking up another pill he tossed it into his mouth and took a sip of water.

Pill. Sip. Repeat.

* * *

Turk had to bodily haul him out of bed this morning. He stood under the lukewarm spray of the showerhead, bracing his arms against the wall to help balance his weight.

JD looked down at himself. He felt slimmer than usual. Odd. He entertained the idea that he might be coming down with something. He did work at a hospital after all.

He'd have to ask Carla if she had any Tylenol. Or Benadryl. This time of year was always hell on his sinuses.

Turning off the water, JD grabbed a towel and stepped out of the shower.

* * *

JD gripped tight to the toilet as he leaned over it, expelling his lunch into the bowl. He gasped for air and praised his stomach for the slight reprieve it gave him. _Gotta take the good with the bad_ . . .

The bathroom door opened. JD sighed into the bowl, looking at the mess he had created. _The bad returns._

The distinctive whistling that reached his ears made him cringe. _Why must the bad always return with a vengeance?_

JD sat silent on the cold tile floor, hoping that he could keep what was left of his lunch down and also keep from alerting Dr. Cox to his presence. The painful churning in his stomach disregarded his pleas and told him he didn't have much time.

The sound of a flushing urinal nearly had JD gasping in relief. Dr. Cox turned to the sink and began washing his hands.

_God, he's taking his time, isn't he? I mean, I know it's a hospital and all, but come on . . ._

_Just go_, JD thought as he rocked back in forth in what he hoped his stomach found to be a soothing motion. _ Go, go, gogogogogo_ -he could feel his stomach clenching. He wasn't going to make it.

JD cried out in pain as his stomach expelled the rest of his turkey sandwich into the toilet.

The whistling abruptly stopped.

JD gasped loudly, choking on the aftertaste -_ never as good the second time around_ - and ran a hand through his damp hair. He felt relieved that it was over, but he was left utterly exhausted. His stomach still churned angrily, looking for something else to throw at him. His throat burned and he had a brief thought of his tongue attempting suicide to escape the horrid taste. He hardly heard the soft footsteps as they made their way towards his stall and he missed the sound of the door squeaking as it opened, but Dr. Cox's voice was crystal clear.

"Aw, Cindy, do you need me to hold your hair back?"

Weakly JD reached up to flush the toilet while wiping the back of his other hand across his mouth. He turned to look up at Dr. Cox and smiled weakly. "No thanks. I think I'm done here."

Dr. Cox crossed his arms and stared down at him. "What's wrong there, Newbie? Stay up too late partying with your other sorority sisters?"

JD nodded, playing along. He braced a hand on the toilet paper dispenser and attempted to haul himself to his feet. "You know me, Perry," he said, his words slurring a little. "I like to have fun-fun-fun." His knees buckled and he fell backwards onto the toilet seat with a soft thud. "Ow …"

Dr. Cox lurched forward and grabbed JD's arms as he fell backwards. Holding tight to him he hauled the younger doctor to his feet and watched disapprovingly as he swayed for a moment before regaining his balance.

"I think we've already discussed my feelings on coming in to work drunk," Dr. Cox said, his voice treading the line between angry and disappointed. "What was it I said?" Dr. Cox asked, searching the air with his eyes as if the answer was floating somewhere above JD's head. "Oh that's right -" Dr. Cox zeroed in on JD again "- I said _don't_."

JD shook his head and grabbed Dr. Cox's forearms. "I'm not drunk," JD stated, yanking away from the other man's powerful grip.

Dr. Cox stood back and crossed his arms over his chest again. "Well, you could have fooled me, Newbie," Dr. Cox said. JD sighed and sat down on the toilet. The two fell into an uncomfortable silence - JD staring off into space, Dr. Cox staring down at the young man. He took in JD's pale skin, his thin frame, the way his hands trembled as he wiped them against his scrubs.

Dr. Cox sighed. "You look like hell," he said.

"I feel like hell," JD concurred. JD looked up at Dr. Cox and was startled to see that the man actually looked a little concerned. "I think I'm just coming down with something," JD said. "I've been a little out of sorts these past few days."

Dr. Cox nodded. "Yeah, I've noticed," he said. JD perked a little at that, but said nothing. _He notices me?_

"It's just a stomach bug," JD said, trying to sound convincing. "It's not a big deal." He waited, tense, for Dr. Cox's response.

"Well," Dr. Cox said after a moment, "best get that checked out before you start killing people with something other than your incompetence."

JD smiled a little. "Thanks," he managed. Dr. Cox growled at his smile, and in three long strides he exited the bathroom.

JD sat still and closed his eyes. Carefully he eased himself off the toilet and took a seat next to it, leaning up against the stall's wall. His stomach seemed to have settled down, but he wasn't taking any chances.

* * *

JD stepped up to the cash register and handed the clerk a box. The clerk, an elderly gentleman, smiled at him as he scanned the barcode on the back of the box and handed it back to JD. JD wordlessly handed the man a 20.

"Second time this week. You sure do go through those fast," the elderly clerk said, his smile wavering a bit.

JD looked up from the box. "They're not for me," he lied. "They're for my girlfriend. She has trouble sleeping."

"Poor thing," the clerk said, a line of sympathy crossing his brow as he pulled out JD's change. "Well then, you make sure you keep an eye on her."

"Sure," JD muttered. He wasn't paying attention to the clerk. His mind was wandering. He felt listless. He just wanted to go home and go to sleep.

The older man handed JD his change. "Don't want her taking too many," he said softly. "Could be dangerous."

"Of course," JD said. Taking the money and the box, he left the store.

* * *

JD sat on his bed.

Pill. Sip. Repeat.

* * *

A/N2: Feedback is appreciated!


	2. Coma

Title: Coma

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Warnings: Mentions of substance abuse

A/N: Written for **impromptu50** community on Live Journal. For anyone who wanted to see another chapter.

Summary: Too much of a good thing? Set sometime after 'Addicted'.

* * *

"Dr. Dorian was unconscious when they found him. They suspect he'd been like that six or seven hours before being discovered . . ."

Dr. Cox didn't reply. He stared down at the pale figure lying on the hospital bed. His dark hair hung limp over his eyes. His face had slimmed, to match what was left of his malnourished body. His chest rose and fell at even intervals with the aid of the machines sitting off to the right.

Intern Something-Or-Other was still talking, droning on about Newbie's CT scan results. Dr. Cox felt the muscles in his throat constrict. He had a sudden urge to whip around and punch the intern. After all, his regular punching bag was lying before him, completely incapacitated.

Totally unresponsive.

_Not quite dead. But close._

Instead, he reached around and snatched the chart out of the intern's hands. Holding it up he whapped the boy on the head with it, silencing and dismissing him with one swift gesture. Intern Something-Or-Other closed his mouth and sheepishly backed out of the room.

He waited until the sound of his retreating footsteps could no longer be heard. Dr. Cox lifted his eyes away from JD and let out a long, shaky sigh.

* * *

Ten days and no change.

Dr. Cox dropped the chart into his lap and closed his tired eyes. He'd read JD's information so many times over he could practically repeat it verbatim - spelling errors and all. He hefted his feet up onto the corner of JD's bed. Scooting forward in his chair, he attempted to recline against the hard metal back. It was drawing close to midnight. His shift was nearly over, but he couldn't bring himself to leave just yet.

The older doctor looked over at JD through the half light. An OD on dextromethorphan and diphenhydramine. Dr. Cox couldn't believe it. He knew Newbie was an idiot, but he never suspected he could be so careless. He should have known better -

_Don't underestimate him. He did know. He did it anyway. He knew what he was doing and he did it anyway. Why don't you get that?_

Dr. Cox pounced on the thought and quickly tossed it away. He wouldn't allow himself to go down that path. Not yet.

_Then when, hm? When will you open your eyes and see this _accident_ for what it really is?_

He shook his head. The kid loved life. He really did. He had great friends, a job he loved, patients who adored him. Things couldn't be so bad for him right now that he'd want to go and off himself.

_Difficult to tell. Every time he wanted to talk you shot him down and shut him up._

Dr. Cox ran his hands over his face then shoved them into his hair. He grasped his curls and tugged a little, feeling a soft twinge of pain in his scalp. He had a sudden desire to talk to JD. It was an odd feeling to have, after years of dodging any and all possible conversations with the annoying man-child. But now he had things he wanted to say, questions he wanted answered. JD lay still, ignoring them all.

He smirked at the air. "You're gonna be sorry you missed this, kid," Dr. Cox said. "I finally find the need to talk to you - of my own free will - and you sleep through it." His smirk died as he dropped his hands to his lap.

"I hate seeing you like this," he murmured to himself. He sat still, letting his mind wander. He lost track of the steady beeping of JD's heart monitor in the background noise of the hospital. "On second thought," Dr. Cox stated, "maybe it's good you're asleep. I'd never hear the end of it - 'the night Dr. Cox was actually nice to me'."

Dr. Cox kicked his feet off JD's bed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He rubbed a hand over his face again, feeling the stubble that had begun to grow across his chin. JD had become such a predictable pest in the few years he'd known him. It was difficult to think of him being so still, so quiet . . . _so lifeless_. It was amazing to think that he'd actually begun to miss the quirks he'd barely tolerated just two weeks ago.

He missed the thundering of JD's footsteps as he rushed down the hall to catch the elevator and the inevitable crunch as JD slammed into the closed doors. He missed the way he used his patients plastic utensils and upturned containers of jello as a mini drum set. He missed the sound of his voice when he _actually_ had something of merit to say.

He missed his eyes. Big, bright, blue, and painfully honest . . .

Dr. Cox had the urge to chuckle at himself, but he knew there wasn't anything funny about the situation. He chanced a glance up at JD. The younger man lay still, just as he had the day before.

And the day before that.

Reaching around behind him, Dr. Cox pulled his lab coat from where it sat draped over the back of the chair.

JD would wake up eventually, Dr. Cox reasoned. His Newbie was a fighter and an optimist - a formidable combination. He'd come around. And when he did, Dr. Cox wanted to make sure he was right there for it, so he could be the first to demand why JD had decided to step his idiocy up a notch.

Dr. Cox checked his watch. His shift was over. He glanced up at JD, then looked back down at the coat in his hands.

Sitting back, he swung his feet up onto the corner of JD's bed and tried to ignore the metal armrest as it dug into his side. He covered himself with the coat and crossed his arms beneath it, hugging the chart to his chest.

"Goodnight, Newbie."

* * *

FYI: Dextromethorphan and diphenhydramine are the active ingredients in Nyquil and Benadryl (respectively). Don't take too many, kids. It'll mess you up.

A/N2: So . . . does he wake up or not? Feedback appreciated!


	3. Wake Up 1

Title: Wake Up (1)

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Warnings: . . . I'm not telling you . . .

A/N: Written for **impromptu50**. This one was kind of hard to write. I actually started with the last sentence and wrote _up_ the page instead of down. Weird, I know, but you gotta do what works I suppose.

Also, this is only part A of the sequel to 'Coma'. I had two very different ideas for how this story should end, so I decided to write both and post them together.

Summary: The coma ends. Where waking up is easy. Sequel to 'Coma'.

* * *

JD looked around at the darkened room, confused. The pillow was cool beneath his head. His hands fisted in the crisp hospital sheets. He blinked and settled his eyes on the cracked ceiling.

He took a deep breath. It felt good. It felt _amazingly_ good, like he'd never breathed before. No, more like he'd been holding his breath since infancy and he was now finally allowed to breath again.

He took another deep breath just for the hell of it. _ Breathing is fun._

He turned to his left and let out a shrill yelp of surprise. Dr. Cox was standing beside his bed - well, more hovering really. His hands were shoved deep in the white pockets of his lab coat; his face was drawn and tired. JD stared up at him, concerned. He looked horrible.

"Hey Newbie," Dr. Cox murmured.

"Hey Dr. Cox," JD said, keeping his tone light.

Dr. Cox attempted a smile. He failed. "What's up?"

JD eyed the older doctor critically. "Are you asking me because you really want to know, or are you asking me so you can interrupt me half way through with an 'I don't really care, I was just kidding' remark?" JD asked. "Because if it's the latter, then -"

Dr. Cox shook his head. "Never mind."

"Oh," JD said. _Rats._

Dr. Cox tried for a smile again and managed to affix one to his face. It didn't quite reach his eyes. "Look, JD," he began slowly, "I'm not entirely sure why I'm here." Turning his back to the younger man, he took a seat on the edge of the bed, making sure to keep some distance between them. JD propped himself up on his elbows. "I guess I just need a moment to think without people yammering at me every five seconds." He scowled up at the ceiling. "And while I know that keeping that big mouth of yours shut isn't exactly one of your strong points, you're the best option I have right now."

JD attempted to hide the smile that bloomed across his face. "I love how you try to mask your compliments with insults," he said.

"And I hate how you try to make my insults into compliments," Dr. Cox returned, glancing at JD over his shoulder. JD grinned. Dr. Cox growled and turned away.

JD watched him for a moment, the smile slowly fading from his face. "Dr. Cox -" _oh, what the hell_ "- Perry . . . What's wrong? You look like hell."

"I feel like hell, Newbie," he stated. The two smiled at the shared memory. "You look like you're doing better though."

"I am," JD said.

Dr. Cox nodded his head but said nothing. JD watched as the muscles in his jaw clenched and relaxed as if he were debating to comment or not. In the end the older doctor bowed his head and opted for silence. Standing from the bed, he walked to the window and looked down at the dark parking lot. It was nearly empty at this late hour. A blond woman sat on a bench, talking animatedly on her cell phone.

JD watched the older man's back. His shoulders were hunched with a weight JD had never noticed before. Pushing aside the blanket, he stood and moved to stand beside the other doctor. The tile floor was cool beneath his bare feet. It sent a shiver up his spine. JD loosely wrapped his arms about himself.

"Cold?" Dr. Cox asked.

"Not really," JD countered. He dropped his arms and let them hang limp at his side.

Dr. Cox inhaled sharply. He raised a hand to his face and rubbed at his tired eyes. "There's something I want you to know," he stated. "There has never been a soul to grace these wretched, hate-infested halls that I haven't immediately and absolutely despised."

JD interjected. "If you want to know the truth, I actually already knew that -"

"Case in point," Dr. Cox said, raising an eyebrow in JD's direction. "But," he continued, crossing his arms over his chest, "for what it's worth . . . I'm glad you came here."

JD wasn't sure how to react. "Really?" he asked, hoping his voice didn't sound as pathetic and needy as he thought it did.

"Yeah," came the curt reply.

"Why would you tell me that?" he asked softly, mentally kicking himself for not being able to let this wonderful moment be. Dr. Cox glanced at him, then turned his gaze back towards the window. "I mean," JD added hastily, "not to say that I don't appreciate the kind words - I do! - you know, every time you open up to me I feel we get a little closer and -"

Dr. Cox turned to face him fully. JD cleared his throat. He was glad for the darkness. He hoped it hid his blush. "I just didn't think I'd ever get to hear you say anything like that. To my face, especially," he joked.

"I'm not doing this to pull you closer," Dr. Cox said, his voice hushed. "I'm trying to let you go."

Dr. Cox stared at his young protégé. "You know you're not really here, right?" he asked, his tone almost hopeful. Whether he was fishing for an agreement or a contradiction, JD couldn't tell.

JD lowered his eyes. "Yeah," he said, his voice dropping to a whisper. The older man didn't respond. The silence in the room suddenly felt oppressive.

It was a long moment before either moved. Then the older man shoved his hands into his coat pockets and turned towards the bed. JD turned with him to face the body lying where he had been moments before. He took a step, and another, until he stood leaning over the figure. Dark hair fell softly against a pale forehead. A dry IV line still clung to dead skin.

Blue eyes remained forever closed.

"I just don't understand," JD said, looking down at his lifeless body. "Why did this happen?"

An eternity passed and neither of them said a word. And then, finally -

"Goodbye John," Dr. Cox whispered. Stepping past JD, he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

* * *

A/N2: Yes, I killed him. Cry-cry, sob-sob. Now go read the next chapter, it'll make you feel better.

PS - Feedback is appreciated!


	4. Wake Up 2

Title: WC - Wake Up (2)

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Warnings: N/A

A/N: Written for **impromptu50**. I think this is my favorite of the four.

Summary: The coma ends. Where waking up is hard. A second sequel to 'Coma'.

* * *

Everything was white.

JD tried to move his eyes, but they felt stuck. He blinked once, twice, but the whiteness persisted.

A deep rumbling sounded to his right. It struck an odd chord in him - something between comforting and scary. He tried to turn his head. No luck.

A warm weight wrapped around his hand.

JD closed his eyes and let himself be engulfed by the blackness once more.

* * *

The next time JD's eyes opened the whiteness was gone, replaced by a constant stream of shifting grays. A word registered in his mind - _shadows_ - but like the shapes on the ceiling the word quickly melted away.

A lighter figure separated itself from the other shadows. It leaned over him. JD was afraid, but at the same time not. Its shape was familiar.

He was tired. He closed his eyes.

* * *

JD tried to take a breath, but found he couldn't. The muscles in his neck constricted in panic and he began to cough around the plastic tubing in his throat. A voice spoke calmly above his head.

"Don't fight it. Let it breath for you."

JD tried to make sense of the words but it was difficult with the warning sirens going off in his head. Finally, exhausted, he relaxed and gave up his struggle. _ You win, plastic menace._

The cool sensation of air trickling into his lungs was a welcome relief. He allowed himself to relax further into the softness of his bed. A set of fingers gently brushed the hair off his damp forehead. JD tried to lean into the touch but his head was too heavy. He desperately wanted to open his eyes, to see who was taking care of him. But not just now. He was tired again, and he needed to rest.

* * *

"What do you think?"

Dr. Cox managed to lift his eyes away from JD's slack face. Carla stared back, her brown eyes filled with concern and closely guarded hope. "I don't know," he said softly. "He was out for almost three weeks. His chances of recovery are -"

He chanced a glance up at Carla. Her expression dared him to say something negative.

"He has a chance," Dr. Cox concluded.

He looked back down at the young man. His face was slightly flushed, but was beginning to cool now that he had settled down. Dr. Cox smoothed the loose bangs away from JD's forehead. He knew the kid hated having them droop like that.

"So that's it?" Carla asked, her voice resigned. Dr. Cox looked up at her. Carla's tough exterior wilted a bit under his gaze. "Isn't there anything else we can do?" she asked, her voice small in the large white room.

Dr. Cox looked at her across JD's still form. "Recovery is in his hands now." He nodded to JD and pulled his hand away from the kid's face. "It's up to him how fast he wants to take this."

Carla nodded and bit her lip. With a slight nod, she left the room.

Dr. Cox followed close behind her.

"But he's awake. And that's something."

* * *

A/N2: He lives! Okay, this is the end. The REAL end. On to bigger and better things.

PS - Feedback appreciated!

PPS - Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Y'all rock.


End file.
